Trip down Ten Years

I thought this photo of my niece swimming at her 10th birthday party in June was so beautiful, so serene and yet so bright and energetic (quite a juxtaposition of sorts, non?). That's Ally all right... in a nutshell. She looks like one of those dancers in the water -- what are they called again? synchronized swimmers?-- and you can just feel, sense how happy she is in this moment. So carefree -- so thrilled to be alive. It's often in times like these, when I see the utter innocence and pure bliss of childhood, that I myself wish I could be a kid again, with no fears, worries or responsibilities -- not a care in the world.

Ally was born ten years ago this year. Her birthday in late June really struck a chord with me, hit home in more ways than I ever expected. I look at pictures of her now and I'm dumbstruck by how fast she has grown up, how much she has changed and matured, how beautiful and talented she is at her age. She has so much potential and is full of joy, in spite of any difficult circumstances she might have had to endure at times. And I am thousands of miles away from her...

I berate myself, beat myself up about not writing more often (never enough), not keeping in touch as much as I think I should or wish I would... And yet I do think of her all the time and I am reminded of her throughout the day by the funniest little things. That I couldn't be there this year for her 10th birthday party -- well, it was harder than I thought it would be. Now I'm trying to put together the perfect birthday package, something special I can send her to let her know I'm thinking of her, and also to give her a little taste of France, in tiny doses. Does anyone have any fabulous suggestions of some great things I can add into my care package for a 10-year-old American girl who has never been to France, but who is definitely curious about the culture and life here? I'm hoping she'll make it over to visit one day, and I don't know if that opportunity will come when she's in high school or before, but in the meantime, I'd like for her to share in what I love about this country. Whenever I go home to the States for a visit, she asks me all sorts of questions about France and what it's like to live here -- she's at that age where she's overflowing with curiosity and sweet inquisitiveness, and she tells her friends about her tata who lives in such a faraway country. (I've given her coloring books and children's books about France over the years -- I need some new ideas!)

Now when she picks up the phone she recognizes my voice immediately, and I can never seem to pull the wool over her eyes. She asks me how to say words in French, and then giggles on the other end of the line. I feel her spirit with me here sometimes, her whispering -- coloring feverishly like I did at her age -- so fascinated with drawing, singing and dancing, all the art forms I, too, enjoyed as a little girl.

I've already picked her up an adorable t-shirt from Petit Bateau with "La vie est belle" written on the front, and she told me that she loves polka dots right now, so I've been keeping that in mind in my hunt for gifts... She's definitely a real girlie-girl, loving pretty things and always checking out my makeup bag when I come home. Two years ago she begged me to buy her some lip gloss at a Victoria's Secret sale! But I grimaced and promised to let her have one of my own lipglosses when we got home... I had other *better* gifts in mind for her...

Every time I go home I find myself wanting to spoil Ally, and the truth is that she is surrounded by love in my family. Her arrival was unexpected in all of our lives, but she is an angel: she brought us closer together in more ways than we ever could have imagined. Today she makes me laugh and sigh over the phone with her maturity, her quiet philosophy at such a young age -- in some ways I think she knows more than she should at 10; I guess that's the curse of her generation... I don't remember ever being so aware of the world around me, of so much in general, in the way that she is -- constantly.

My boyfriend was hilarious a few days ago: he said, "Why don't you fly your niece over to spend vacation with us in Noirmoutier?" He said it so innocently, so seriously -- like it was a literal possibility. But we all know that flight fares at this time of year are out of this world, so this is utterly unthinkable. And there is the matter of discussing it with her mom and dad, my younger brother, who would need to work out some logistics. It's a nice idea, but like I said, for another year -- perhaps even next year, if we can plan it out ahead of time. I'm hoping some of my family will really buckle down and visit me here in 2008 -- it's been far too long...